Communication is a key for every relationship, yet partners often struggle to express their thoughts about sex. A life-affirming act, sex should be just another part of the relationship, which allows people to explore the intimacy between them. Unfortunately, the reluctance to discuss the problems with sexual satisfaction can create tensions in any relationship.
Some people worry about hurting their significant other’s feelings, whereas others find the topic incredibly awkward. However, talking to your partner about your preferences and boundaries will help you build a healthy relationship and have a satisfying sex life.
To ensure effective communication, you need to choose the right time, be honest, open up about your fantasies, demonstrate what you like, and be positive instead of critical. So what if your wife wants to read more about vibrators for women? It doesn’t mean she won’t have sex with you anymore; on the contrary, vibrators can make things better for both of you. Similarly, if you’re worried about your husband watching porn, why not watch it together or try to recreate some of his favorite films?
Here are some tips that might help you communicate better:
Choose the Right Moment to Talk
To get your partner’s attention, you need to pick the right moment. You might think that it would be best to talk after having sex, as you are both relaxed and happy, but it can make you feel much more vulnerable.
Similarly, if you start the discussion when you are both tired or stressed, it is unlikely that your conversation will have a positive outcome. Therefore, take into account your partner’s feelings and emotions: they should not be experiencing negative feelings like anger or sadness. Instead, they should be in a good mood and preferably relaxed.
The truth is there is no “perfect time” to talk about sex. Still, make sure that you have enough time to discuss the topic. You should also choose a neutral location, like a living room or kitchen, which are private and comfortable.
Be Honest About Your Satisfaction
If you want to talk about sex with your partner, be honest about your satisfaction. Even if it feels inappropriate to discuss such details with your significant other, remember that it is a key factor in creating a successful relationship. Hence, if something does not work for you (for example, certain sexual positions), do not hesitate to let your partner know. Otherwise, you might end up resenting them or even cheating on them.
In addition, talking about sex will help you learn more about each other’s preferences and desires. You can ask questions that are difficult to bring up during the act. As a result, it will help improve the quality of communication between the two of you. Never stop finding ways to better satisfaction, consider other options like pleasure serum or any other sexual wellness products from Vella Bioscience.
Be Positive Instead of Critical
If you want to talk about sex with your significant other, start with positive feedback. Praise them on what they did well instead of pointing out where they could improve. It is a great way to boost your partner’s self-esteem, which will help them be more open and confident during sex.
It goes without saying that positive comments are easier to hear than negative ones. However, it does not mean that you have to pretend that everything was fine if it really wasn’t. But instead of pointing out all the issues, focus on what could be improved and offer solutions that will help both of you enjoy sex even more.
Open Up About Your Fantasies
Discussing sex is not only about sharing your thoughts and feelings but also discussing what you like in bed. This includes fantasies that turn you on.
It is essential to understand that both of you have the right to have erotic thoughts. Although some fantasies might not be common or even accepted by society, they are normal and healthy. Talking about what excites you will help your partner understand what makes you feel turned on during sex. More importantly, it will help them fulfill your erotic needs and make sure that you take pleasure from the act.
Listen and Ask Questions
Talking about sex with your partner is not only about sharing your thoughts but also listening to their ideas and feedback. Ask them what they like and dislike in bed. Furthermore, listen as they describe their fantasies, as it will help you show that you are interested in what turns them on.
In addition, do not hesitate to ask if something you have done has made them feel uncomfortable or unhappy. Perhaps, they might be too shy to bring it up, but you should encourage them to do so. It will help enrich the experience and bring you closer together.
Do Not Make Assumptions
When talking about sex, avoid making assumptions about your partner’s preferences. For instance, you might think that your partner does not like oral sex and will be offended when you suggest it. However, in reality, it may be that they simply have not tried it before or that it feels awkward for them.
Therefore, talk about sex with your partner to make sure that you know what they want and enjoy. Otherwise, you might end up rejecting their sexual preferences or even making them feel bad. Do not expect your partner to know what turns you on, as it is more likely that you both have different preferences.
In Conclusion
Talking about sex with your partner is a great way to improve the quality of your relationship. It will help you understand what makes them feel turned on and improve your sex life significantly. In addition, it will help you both communicate better and ensure that you take pleasure from the experience. Remember that talking about sex is completely natural and makes you closer to your partner.
If you are really struggling, you can talk to a counselor who specializes in sexual issues or look for websites that offer advice on talking about sex. It will be difficult in the beginning, but over time, it will get easier and become a more natural part of your relationship.
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